pet peevery

i have a certain strong dislike when it comes to waiting.

patience? no. not patience, i'm a very patient person when i have reason to be patient.

waiting in the sense where i'm literally standing/sitting by myself for 30 minutes or more on someone that gives me very little notice that they will be late/or are stuck in traffic/etc etc, or when they know they'll be late and choose not to change the time even though it could have been easily done.

and don't get we wrong, i've been late to a gathering or a meeting before (though i try my best not to be), so i'm not saying everyone needs to be perky and there 10 minutes before hand.

i'm saying, if you think you're already going to have difficulty getting there at a specific time, speak up - or let me/any other party members know so that we don't have to be blindly waiting.

i think it's incredibly rude and disrespectful, especially if you make a habit out of it.

for everyone else, me included, we all planned our schedules accordingly to wake up/get dressed/catch the appropriate transit or car ride just to get our asses there either early or on time - so the least you could do is make at least half the effort. =___=;

and the thing about waiting is that when it gets to the point of 20-30 minutes and anything beyond that, when i see your face, it's really hard for me to be happy.

like at that point, i'm honestly just so tired from waiting, by myself.

side note: i really don't like being alone.

like, k that sounds terribly dependent and lame but i just get very anxious (bordering panic attack if it's a crazy scenario) and uncomfortable when i'm alone.

it's a huge insecurity i have but i can't help it.

so i usually immerse myself heavily in my music or play games, etc.

otherwise i'm a huge anxious stress case.

a real catch, i know.

but yeah - this stuff just irks me.

and i'm usually the one that always waits for everything when it comes to hanging out - no matter what group or function.

"you should be late next time!" but then i feel like that just creates a huge cycle of being late for times to come.

raaaawr

lost in translation

quelqu’un m’a dit

i’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,

they pass like an instant, like wilting roses.
i’m told that time slipping by is a bastard
making its coat of our sorrows.
yet someone told me…

that you still loved me
someone told me…
that you still loved me.
well ? could that be possible?

i’m told that fate makes fun of us,
that it gives us nothing and promises everything,
when happiness seems to be within our reach,
we reach out and find ourselves like fools.
yet someone told me…

that you still loved me
someone told me…
that you still loved me.
well ? could that be possible?

well ? could that be possible?

so who said that you still loved me?
i don’t remember any more, it was late at night,
i can still hear the voice, but i can no longer see the face,
“he loves you, it’s secret, don’t tell him i told you.”
you see, someone told me

that you still loved me
did someone really tell me?
that you still loved me
well, could that be possible?

i’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
passing in an instant, like wilting roses,
i’m told that time slipping by is a bastard,
making its coat of our sadnesses.

that you still loved me
someone told me…
that you still loved me.
well ? could that be possible?

so let me know

an introduction to my pet peeves.

scenario uno

hey!

hi!

how are you?

i'm good

..

good luck with finals!

thanks!

scenario deux.

hey

hi

what's up?

n2m

i get it.

it's the unbearable moment you see someone you thought you wouldn't come across,

and you've got to muster up enough tolerance to have a civilized conversation.

... uh k, the least you could do is respond with a "you?"

just once.

COME ON.

it'd be nice to know you can at least pretend to be interested in my life the way i'm pretend interested in yours ):

common decency ):

it's conversations like that which really irk me.

i just don't understand why someone can't briefly say in passing "oh i'm good thanks, you?"

):

you may not like me, but chances are you probably aren't my bestie either.

and with that being said,

ASK IT BACK, BITCH.

"don't forget my love."

penny for your thoughts

Beauty without intelligence is a masterpiece painted on a napkin

moments of solitude

it's hard.

relationships are hard.

friendships are hard.

people are hard.

i wish i had more to blog about.

so much has been happening, with nothing even happening at all.

last month boy and i broke up.

it was a short official relationship, but we were (or i hoped he was..) emotionally together since november

it's a tough situation. it was a love triangle i guess?

two good friends that were polar opposite yet so much the same.

anyways - it was a teeter totter of emotions going back and forth between happiness and sadness.

everything was right and wrong at the exact same time.

he convinced me and "fought" for my affection

and, i trusted him.

i trusted him against all odds, against what one of my best friends told me, against what the group told me.

i trusted him based on his words.

and he let me down.

i was no longer a gf, i was a chore he felt obligated to see.

.. well, twice a week anyways.

and at night time.

(i was basically a friend with benefits.)

and everytime i brought up my feelings, he made me feel like i was wrong.

as if what is aid didn't matter unless it was a problem that had a definitive answer.

but things aren't like that in a relationship

i'm not trying to solve a math equation, i'm trying to accommodate feelings and emotions.

not everything can be so easily defined as right or wrong, and not everything has a solution.

between white and black is grey, a compromise made between the two.

we never had that.

and you know, i wanted grey.

i wanted grey and every other colour that came with it.

i never wanted to end things, that wasn't my intention.

it was tough you know?

i wanted to see him, and he wanted to see my best friend.

and now it's like. i feel that the relationship between him and her after the breakup is a lot stronger than her and mine now.

a lot of the breakup was because of that. i want to feel wanted. i want to feel needed.

i'm done being second place.

regardless of his intentions and whether or not she was aware, i'm sitting here every day&night thinking about other people's feelings, and it'd be nice to know someone thought of mine.

and, it's not like we were in love.

i'm upset with how the situation has ended up.

he's not the one that impacted my heart, what happened between me and my supposed best friend and how he can so easily brush me off bothers me.

i'm just so disappointed in everything and i feel like a fool.

but i guess everything happens for a reason in the end, right?

"everything that shines, ain't always gonna be gold."

megapuss

To the love within that goes without saying anything.

To the love without that goes about again and again and again.