double take

make something out of nothing,

but never make nothing out of something.

congratulations for making nothing out of something.

i trusted you.

take a second.

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t always promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn, with every good-bye you learn." -- Veronica A. Shoffstall

devastation

the 8.9 earthquake that occurred in Japan on Friday was one of the 5th largest earthquakes to be endured across the world.

what's happening in this country is beyond devastating and heartbreaking.

i've been watching CNN and dateline and every other news network focusing on Japan.

all i feel like doing is bawling.

it's so upsetting and disheartening to hear about the tragedy that is happening to this country, in which the aftershocks and tsunami's are also affecting surrounding countries.

the earthquake brought aftershocks (more than 20), tsunami's (some higher than 8ft), flooding of cities (vanishing towns and villages), volcanic eruptions and over 1600 lives lost with tens of thousands of those missing. and to add to these tragedies, 5 nuclear power plants are under observation in fear of explosions. the #2 power plant in Fukushima has already exploded leaving 22 with radioactive exposure and 5 dead (i'm guessing there may be more) and apparently another power plant is in danger of exploding as well.

*i had no idea but apparently on youtube and social networking sites some Americans were claiming how "Japan deserved this earthquake" and some other shit about "that's what you get for the Pearl Harbour bombing" - no country deserves to have a 8.9 magnitude earthquake killing tens of thousands, destroying villages and separating family and friends from one another. and may i just add how unbelievably immature, inconsiderate, heartless that sort of comment is that adds to the ignorance and stupidity one person or group can hold. you are a plague to mankind for even thinking that a country deserves tragedy like this. it makes me sick to my stomach how clueless people are to the feelings of others. im not saying you have to have a heart of gold to truly appreciate what's happening, you just have to have a fucking pulse to know that this is not right. i actually feel like throwing up. how about you turn on the tv and open your eyes to the other side of the world. devastation isn't subtle and this situation is more than obvious with the pain and depression these people are going through.

i have relatives in Japan. they aren't in Sendai, they are in the middle-ish area of the coast line. we heard from some of them that they are okay and there wasn't a lot of damage done, but we haven't been able to get in contact with all of them. let alone our communicative Japanese isn't up to par especially with the traditional language that my elder relatives hold but hopefully we can get some word of them through our relatives in Alberta who keep better contact.

this is more than just a physical disaster with fallen buildings and broken bridges.

its a strenuous and tiring toll emotionally and mentally.

this is a highly traumatic event to happen amongst children, adults and elders.

the devastation in Japan is heartbreaking and terrifying, donations may be made via toll free phone at 1-800-418-1111 or online at www.redcross.ca/helpnow and you can designate it for the “Japan Earthquake Relief”. You can also text donations in $5 increments to 30333 and type in ASIA.

(i hope everyone recognizes how unexpected life is and to appreciate what you have - simple necessities like food, water, and the gift of love.)

praying hoping wishing

timestamps,

: and when we stop and think it through, the idea of 'us' was not for you.

i'm happy you're happy with who you've found

i'm happy i'm happy with who i've found

closure is an ambiguous gem

it's both beautiful yet heart-wrenching at the same time

its that exact moment of realization that what was once, no longer is and that a new page has begun for two separate souls.

finals

HI WTF

WHY CANT I MAKE THE FONT 'SMALLEST'

THIS IS GOING TO HARSH STRESS ME OUT

it's terrible, i know

my neglect, my procrastination

BAH

anyways

ive been super busy with school work

i think i'm doing better this year than i am last year

well at least, i hope i am because i'm trying a lot harder

obviously there are many things i need to work on to improve my work habits, but it's a step right?

i'm so indecisive in what i want to be

i want to be a teacher

i love helping people, educating and dealing with children.

however

i love interacting with people,

so i wouldn't mind being in public relations or perhaps human resources

they are both tough yet rewarded jobs i believe

(to each their own, right?)

it's just a little overwhelming to know i don't have a set plan in mind

(i know, whatever will be will be)

but it's hard to let 'it be' when 'it' costs over 2100 a semester

i need to be more proactive on my aspirations though

i need to go volunteer at day cares, schools, summer schools and be around what i want.

this post will be short and sweet because i have a major papers to write

i don't know why but i just can't stay focused on these papers

i end up getting excited over the topic then i lose my track so quickly because i speak so broadly about it

i ramble on and on and i end up repeating myself.

i really do feel like crying, everything i write seems so insufficient to those around me.

):

like ice cream on a hot day,

i'm listening to my smaller collection of music on my laptop cause i was unable to transfer all of my music from my home computer and i put my playlist on shuffle

i love the feeling of finding something again.

finding songs that made me smile, cry, laugh and just plain reminisce.

it's like finding the shirt you loved wearing when you were 5 and wondering how someone could be that tiny.

or finding what makes you happy in life.

something so obvious yet you remain so oblivious to it.

it's little things like that when you realize life is short to worry and fret.

my previous post was rather depressing, ambiguous and was written at a rough time.

but you know - imma just call it a lesson learned, because there's no point involving yourself in the past.

i've been on autopilot for too long and need to take control of my life.

and i am going to keep those that make me happy in my life and stay passionate to things i love doing.

the only limitations i have are myself and fear - i gotta trudge through it because it will all be worth it.

PS. hope everyone is enjoying this lovely weather (:

"abc, easy as 123"

indifference.

mm; quick post for the end of the week cause that last post was definitely a draft i was supposed to finish 5 days ago..

these are one of those moments where i'm in between black and white.
i feel like i've been a part of the stupidest experience in my life, however i feel that i wasn't even a part of it all.
i feel like i shouldn't have done what was done, but i feel like it was the only thing that could have happened.
i feel like a victim, yet maybe i was just the instigator to the event.
i'm over it, but i'm not.
i want to tell everyone, and i want it to be non-existent in my memories at the same time.

do we do what's best for us?
or do we do what's best for the situation