devastation

the 8.9 earthquake that occurred in Japan on Friday was one of the 5th largest earthquakes to be endured across the world.

what's happening in this country is beyond devastating and heartbreaking.

i've been watching CNN and dateline and every other news network focusing on Japan.

all i feel like doing is bawling.

it's so upsetting and disheartening to hear about the tragedy that is happening to this country, in which the aftershocks and tsunami's are also affecting surrounding countries.

the earthquake brought aftershocks (more than 20), tsunami's (some higher than 8ft), flooding of cities (vanishing towns and villages), volcanic eruptions and over 1600 lives lost with tens of thousands of those missing. and to add to these tragedies, 5 nuclear power plants are under observation in fear of explosions. the #2 power plant in Fukushima has already exploded leaving 22 with radioactive exposure and 5 dead (i'm guessing there may be more) and apparently another power plant is in danger of exploding as well.

*i had no idea but apparently on youtube and social networking sites some Americans were claiming how "Japan deserved this earthquake" and some other shit about "that's what you get for the Pearl Harbour bombing" - no country deserves to have a 8.9 magnitude earthquake killing tens of thousands, destroying villages and separating family and friends from one another. and may i just add how unbelievably immature, inconsiderate, heartless that sort of comment is that adds to the ignorance and stupidity one person or group can hold. you are a plague to mankind for even thinking that a country deserves tragedy like this. it makes me sick to my stomach how clueless people are to the feelings of others. im not saying you have to have a heart of gold to truly appreciate what's happening, you just have to have a fucking pulse to know that this is not right. i actually feel like throwing up. how about you turn on the tv and open your eyes to the other side of the world. devastation isn't subtle and this situation is more than obvious with the pain and depression these people are going through.

i have relatives in Japan. they aren't in Sendai, they are in the middle-ish area of the coast line. we heard from some of them that they are okay and there wasn't a lot of damage done, but we haven't been able to get in contact with all of them. let alone our communicative Japanese isn't up to par especially with the traditional language that my elder relatives hold but hopefully we can get some word of them through our relatives in Alberta who keep better contact.

this is more than just a physical disaster with fallen buildings and broken bridges.

its a strenuous and tiring toll emotionally and mentally.

this is a highly traumatic event to happen amongst children, adults and elders.

the devastation in Japan is heartbreaking and terrifying, donations may be made via toll free phone at 1-800-418-1111 or online at www.redcross.ca/helpnow and you can designate it for the “Japan Earthquake Relief”. You can also text donations in $5 increments to 30333 and type in ASIA.

(i hope everyone recognizes how unexpected life is and to appreciate what you have - simple necessities like food, water, and the gift of love.)

praying hoping wishing

timestamps,

: and when we stop and think it through, the idea of 'us' was not for you.

i'm happy you're happy with who you've found

i'm happy i'm happy with who i've found

closure is an ambiguous gem

it's both beautiful yet heart-wrenching at the same time

its that exact moment of realization that what was once, no longer is and that a new page has begun for two separate souls.

finals

HI WTF

WHY CANT I MAKE THE FONT 'SMALLEST'

THIS IS GOING TO HARSH STRESS ME OUT

it's terrible, i know

my neglect, my procrastination

BAH

anyways

ive been super busy with school work

i think i'm doing better this year than i am last year

well at least, i hope i am because i'm trying a lot harder

obviously there are many things i need to work on to improve my work habits, but it's a step right?

i'm so indecisive in what i want to be

i want to be a teacher

i love helping people, educating and dealing with children.

however

i love interacting with people,

so i wouldn't mind being in public relations or perhaps human resources

they are both tough yet rewarded jobs i believe

(to each their own, right?)

it's just a little overwhelming to know i don't have a set plan in mind

(i know, whatever will be will be)

but it's hard to let 'it be' when 'it' costs over 2100 a semester

i need to be more proactive on my aspirations though

i need to go volunteer at day cares, schools, summer schools and be around what i want.

this post will be short and sweet because i have a major papers to write

i don't know why but i just can't stay focused on these papers

i end up getting excited over the topic then i lose my track so quickly because i speak so broadly about it

i ramble on and on and i end up repeating myself.

i really do feel like crying, everything i write seems so insufficient to those around me.

):

like ice cream on a hot day,

i'm listening to my smaller collection of music on my laptop cause i was unable to transfer all of my music from my home computer and i put my playlist on shuffle

i love the feeling of finding something again.

finding songs that made me smile, cry, laugh and just plain reminisce.

it's like finding the shirt you loved wearing when you were 5 and wondering how someone could be that tiny.

or finding what makes you happy in life.

something so obvious yet you remain so oblivious to it.

it's little things like that when you realize life is short to worry and fret.

my previous post was rather depressing, ambiguous and was written at a rough time.

but you know - imma just call it a lesson learned, because there's no point involving yourself in the past.

i've been on autopilot for too long and need to take control of my life.

and i am going to keep those that make me happy in my life and stay passionate to things i love doing.

the only limitations i have are myself and fear - i gotta trudge through it because it will all be worth it.

PS. hope everyone is enjoying this lovely weather (:

"abc, easy as 123"

indifference.

mm; quick post for the end of the week cause that last post was definitely a draft i was supposed to finish 5 days ago..

these are one of those moments where i'm in between black and white.
i feel like i've been a part of the stupidest experience in my life, however i feel that i wasn't even a part of it all.
i feel like i shouldn't have done what was done, but i feel like it was the only thing that could have happened.
i feel like a victim, yet maybe i was just the instigator to the event.
i'm over it, but i'm not.
i want to tell everyone, and i want it to be non-existent in my memories at the same time.

do we do what's best for us?
or do we do what's best for the situation

come home

so in june i went on my famjam trip consisting of my 2 aunts, madre && sister.

our first stop was NY, i definitely would love to go back again.

we really only got 2 - 3 days there, 1 was dedicated to a tour, the other half was dedicated to WICKED [which was a beyond wonderful performance and is my favourite broadway which has some of my favourite tracks(L)

whiiiich, when you think about it isn't really a lot of time because we couldn't spend as long as we liked in each store, or if we did - then we sacrificed going to another store.

aiya well, NY wasn't quite what i thought it would be, but there was a lot of construction going on; NY is freaking huuuuuge. it's really something else, kind of reminds me of las vegas? when we went the weather wasn't as pleasing as we thought it would be but we were lucky it didn't rain! i really do want to go back maybe with family but for sure with friends. however i would only want to go when i have a good solid job so i can cover my shopping damage haha

from there we went to boston to catch the cruise. we didn't have as much time between landing and boarding the cruise so we couldn't do a tour which we were all stumped on! specially since it was pre-paid... ):

ahh this is my second time being on a cruise, the first time was a .. 7day? long cruise from san fran to vancouver relocating/reposition cruise i think it was called..

but yeah this was a 7day cruise from boston up past the maritimes

we went to novascotia,halifax,princeedwardisland,quebec! it was so much fun! i love cruises and i love the staff. they work so hard and for such long hours, but they are always so nice and cheery (mind you, their contract definitely demands that of them...)

we docked like every day to go see each city and had 1 full day at sea.

we got to see anne of green gables, PEI's largest jam store/producer thing, lots of canadian history aaaand yeah!

after the cruise, we landed in montreal then went to toronto

we have family in toronto, my grandma's sister lives tre as for a lot of the japanese relatives on my momma's side.

i love the east, toronto is really something different.

the style, the atmosphere - it's really crazy. you feel like you're apart of something bigger!

t dot also looks like NY too, like in their times square thingy with all of their high rise buildings and electronic-lit up advertisements!

spending 4 days (i wish it were for way longer!!) with them was absolutely wonderful. i was definitely home sick when i came to vancouver because family was left there so it really sucked.
i can't wait to go back to visit relatives, shop more and indulge in the night life!

sometimes our trip felt more like a chore than a vacation because we would have to wake up at like 8 or earlier to go on tours, or leave early to explore the town/city on foot back and forth- to and fro. but all in all it's one of my most enjoyable experiences ever and i love my famjam more than ever. (L)

"i'm on the pursuit of happiness,"

disappointment

it's been 2 months since i've posted

i feel like i've neglected a part of me that wanted to really grow in words, as stupid as it sounds.

obviously this blog was started so that i could voice my opinions, rant and try to create a link between words and my thoughts;

granted that during the summer i was "busy" i was also beyond lazy and i really want to change that around.

no more procrastination!
i mean i'm going into second year already, that word needs to be gone from my lifestyle!!!

RAAAA.

i should clean my room...

i'll do it tomorrow.