the lost wisdom,

sooo 2 weeks ago on saturday i had an operation on my mouth.

i got my wisdom teeth removed ):

it was a traumatic experience and my mouth is still healing baaaw

but luckily i got sedated so i woke up drooly and swollen without having to see the specialist's hand in my mouth (Y)

i'm really frightened by dentists and doctors, not that i have no interest in being their best friend or anything... but i just really do not enjoy these things D:

anyways, when i got home, the first 4 hours were absolutely painful - especially having to change the gauze in my already bloody and large mouth. (ps. you're welcome)

the painkillers didn't really help for the pain, and they also didn't knock me out which amazed both me and my mom haha

i mean, i needed to get them extracted cause if they came in any more they would obstruct the way my teeth are aligned; and because i've been blessed with buck teeth, i needed to have this operation before getting braces, but i'll get to that in a bit..

so for the whole week i was pretty much out of my commission but i still went to class and did my assignments which i am proud of! .. but i also wish i took advantage of extended deadlines haha

the most excruciating part of it all, was not being able to eat =_________=

i looovelovelove food&eating, and honestly i can go without not eating .. but being told i CANT, suddenly made me want to eat everything and anything possible. granted, i lost weight by not eating the usual shit i do, but it was so painful. like your stomach starts to eat everything inside your body and then you become weak and araghoauhef;abf.

.... but anyways, i can almost eat anything and everything now!

however the gross part is that you can feel when food gets stuck ): which really puts me off from eating. but im just so hungry rofl

yeah! so i am getting something called SixMonthSmiles which is basically a brace bracket in my mouth that should take 6-9 months to get straight(er) teeth! i'm excited but i probably won't be smiling for a long time haha cause now i'll be even more self conscious of my mouth YAAY

anywho, i can't wait for a straighter smile and i'll probably be documenting my experience just because none of my friends have had SMS and just braces. they do around the same thing, but won't fix my minimal crossbite in the back of my mouth. i'm excited that i won't have to have braces for minimum of a year+ though! (:

neglect

auuuugh.

okay turning over a new page.

going to do this blog for me and me only! (.. and if anyone ever decides to come across my ramblings)

i need to keep a record of what i'm doing and how i'm feeling so i get better at expressing myself rofl!

and so i don't become a scatterbrain.

okeydokey! going to be doing some remodeling for my posts weow

stolen, i know - but i had to repost this!

this is so eloquently and beautifully written.

"What happens when you fall in love with a writer? Lots of things might happen. That's the thing about writers. They're unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up for sex at three in the morning. Or make love at four in the afternoon. They might not sleep at all. Or they might sleep right through the alarm and forget to get you up for work. Or call you home from work to kill a spider. Or refuse to speak to you after finding out you've never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. Or spend the last of the rent money on five kinds of soap. Or sell your textbooks for cash halfway through the semester. Or leave you love notes in your pockets. Or wash your pants with Post-It notes in the pockets so your laundry comes out covered in bits of wet paper. They might cry if the Post-It notes are unread all over your pants. It's an unpredictable life.

But what happens if a writer falls in love with you?

This is a little more predictable. You will find your hemp necklace with the glass mushroom pendant around the neck of someone at a bus stop in a short story. Your favorite shoes will mysteriously disappear, and show up in a poem. The watch you always wear, the watch you own but never wear, the fact that you've never worn a watch: they suddenly belong to characters you’ve never known. And yet they're you. They're not you; they're someone else entirely, but they toss their hair like you. They use the same colloquialisms as you. They scratch their nose when they lie like you. Sometimes they will be narrators; sometimes protagonists, sometimes villains. Sometimes they will be nobodies, an unimportant, static prop. This might amuse you at first. Or confuse you. You might be bewildered when books turn into mirrors. You might try to see yourself how your beloved writer sees you when you read a poem about someone who has your middle name or prose about someone who has never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. These poems and novels and short stories, they will scatter into the wind. You will wonder if you're wandering through the pages of some story you’ve never even read. There's no way to know. And no way to erase it. Even if you leave, a part of you will always be left behind.

If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die." — Unknown

strangers again

I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places. I'll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time, and I'll be thankful for that. And hope that wherever you are, that you'll be thankful too. And I think that's the best we can wish for.

heh heh..

im back im back im back

tumblr was a little distracting for me, and i never really ended up doing posts as i did just reblogging shit ...

beauty.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

it's easy to forget.
forget what we're worth, what we're made of and what we have.
i, like any other human being, forget to remind myself of these very things as well.
i nitpick, i critique and i hate how i look sometimes. but you know, it's how you overcome these obstacles that make our lives so much more valuable.
i think we hit a point in our lives where we realize what we've got is everything we want.
as long as these things make us happy, why should we jeopardize how we feel about ourselves or others?
if i'm happier working out a lot, then why stop. if i'm happier eating the foods i like, than dieting on the foods i can't stand - why start the impossible? everything should be done and appreciated in moderation, but like i said - if you're happy, why change.
torturing ourselves isn't going to bring us joy and excitement; but people forget that.

and if we keep comparing ourselves from where we are and where we should be, we'll get nowhere.

& in the words of Oprah: Be thankful for what you have and you will end up having more. But if you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never, ever have enough.



beauty is in the eye of the beholder folks (:

stay sweet & gorgeous! <3

truth or truth

It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we dont know what we've been missing until it arrives ♥